subject: Aloha again from Tennessee

Hi Girlfriends,

I hope this missive finds you all well and happy. Best wishes also for a Happy Thanksgiving.

I thought I would send an update on my Dad.

It’s been a good week at the Patricia Neal Rehab Center. Dad even got to meet the movie star herself (Patricia Neal, in case you didn’t know) when she stopped by on Friday to say hello to all the rehab patients. Tony and my sister Hannah arrived just in time to join us and we have a wonderful picture of the entire gang.

We had a large print made and it’s on Dad’s very large board directly across from his bed. The board is slowly getting filled with all kinds of photos of his grandchildren and well wishes from cousins.

Then this past Saturday evening Dad was a little more tired than normal. He’d been freezing for several days, so we brought out the long john top and layered him with many fuzzy tops. Sunday he slept practically the entire day and we thought he seemed very hot to the touch (Hannah and I held guard on either side of Dad, we’ve become very protective with our dear old pop). A temp was taken and sure enough he had a temperature (102.2). The next thing we knew the medical staff was on all alert: tylenol to lower the temp, an x-ray to examine his lungs . . . The next day we learned that he has a slight case of pneumonia in his left lung. He’s now on antibiotics and the chemo is on hold. Yes, his temperature dropped almost immediately due to the Tylenol.

Fast forward to Monday morning and you’ll find Hannah and me at his side again in the early morning. Hannah was on her way to get some scrambled eggs and a biscuit and jelly for Dad when she noticed a doctor with Dad’s chart. He and two hospital big wigs were discussing something very seriously. Hannah asked, “Are you talking about Dad?” (He’s become EVERYONE’s Dad btw). “Yes,” they replied (practically in unison). “Did you know it says FULL CODE on his chart?” “No, what’s that?”  So, we proceeded to find out that Dad ‘s chart had instructions for full resuscitation and full shocks upon his heart stopping . . . The nice doctor (not THE nice doctor, this doctor sends his dad to THE very nice doctor, but this one is very good too) pulled up a chair and proceeded to make himself very comfortable. He took his time to talk about all kinds of things before he got to the heart of the matter. He explained to Dad what his chart said, Dad replied that of course he wants that. The nice doctor talked about how dignified Dad’s life has been, being in the war, all the good things he’s done and how his death should be dignified as well . . .

Dad slumped down in his chair . . Hannah asked if Dad wouldn’t like to discuss all this with Mom, he nodded,“Yes.” We called Mom and they discussed it. She later told me that she would stand by whatever decision he made. Dad said that he trusts the doctor’s opinion and said that he wanted to change the code.

After the doctor left, Dad said to Hannah and me, “Now who’s going to get those eggs?” Hannah jumped up and said, “I will!”

After she left, Dad and I were quietly sitting alone. He said, “Please tell Katie and Logan (his youngest grandchildren) that I’m very sick and I’m going to die.”

“They know that already, Dad” I replied.

“How can they when I just found out?” he said.

So, my Dad had not really comprehended the severity of his illness. And my sister and I agree that that was fine. He’s been taking it all in as he’s ready. Also, he had prostate cancer 10 years ago, had radiation and a very radical surgery and completely kicked it. His psa always measures 0.0. So, Dad just thought he’d kick this cancer too. The doctor also told him that this particular type of cancer isn’t curable. Unlike the prostate cancer which was.

So, fast forward to today. Tony and I arrived bright and early and had a perfectly ripe avocado for Dad. We even had the vinegar and hot sauce to go with. We three gathered round, Dad ate and Tony serenaded us with his ukulele–pleasant tunes including the Tennessee Waltz. Afterwards we practiced and passed helping Dad make the transfer into Mom’s Avalon–this is in preparation of taking Dad home for Thanksgiving (he can go home as long as he doesn’t have a fever again, please pray for the green light to go home on Thursday, also Katie’s 14th birthday, mahalo).

And this afternoon my sister Jan, Tony and I got training in how to give Dad a bath when at home.

Tones and I left with Dad in his wheelchair with Mom and Jan by his side. We hear that more visitors came after we left . . .

Tony just stepped in the room and says “Howdy” to you all!

So, that’s the update from Tennessee. We’re continuing to enjoy precious moments with Dad. And we’ll keep enjoying them for however long they last.

Thank you all for your warm thoughts and prayers.

aloha,

Susan

p.s. I also asked the other nice doctor on Monday if we should just bring Dad home on Thursday and then start hospice. He said that he thinks we should ride the Patricia Neal train for as long as we can (Dad’s able to participate) and then when Dad says he wants to go home, go home!!!

***Here I am with Dad just after he was awarded a medal for participating in the therapy sessions.
You think he looks unhappy?  Well, he was.
Just a few weeks before he’d won a match in a national tennis tournament, and now he’s being given a medal just for participating?
Fortunately, he was able to rally and change his outlook . . . though he remained saddened by all he has lost.